2018-04-25

An open letter to men on dating sites

Dear Men of the dating world,

First off, let me say, this letter is not for every male who is on a dating site, just for a select cohort of males who do not have their brains in their head, but instead have them located in their neither regions.

I am talking to those men who believe that the act of sending an unsolicited photograph or video of their penis is in some way a new style handshake. I know we are living in modern times, but really, have some decency and put it away.  Us women know that men and boys are some what fascinated by their willies, from a young age it’s played with, tugged, used as a machine gun, contests on how high or far someone can pee – the list goes on. The problem is, women have seen it before, we know what it does and how it behaves and we are not as enamered by it as you may be – you are more likely to find us wanting to show you that we have single handedly done 6 loads of washing, cooked 3 different meals for dinner, have finally managed to drink a cup of tea while it’s hot, or that there was no queue at the drive through when we went for that sneaky chicken wrap when the kids were busy.

You may think that this is us being a prude, that we are intimidated by it, because heaven forbid, women’s bodies actually are designed to birth a baby from there! I have even been told that I must be a lesbian if I do not appreciate the unsolicited dick pic. In fact, I have gone as far as stating that if I keep getting them, I will really consider that move. At least boobs are nice to look at!

So, with this letter I am giving some advice to the male population about why it is not ok to send your dick to women you do not know.

  1. If you would not get your dick out in public and wave it around, don’t do it online
  2. If you want to send us a photo, and it’s of you with your pride and joy in your hand, and I’m not talking about the fishing photos, do us the decency and ask if we would like to see it
  3. Do not be offended if we say no
  4. Just because you send one to us does not mean that you will get a similar pic back – in fact I know some women who collect said photos and will send a random dick back in a swap!
  5. If starting a conversation with a woman and they ask how you are, replying “hard” is not an option
  6. I have said this on other posts but it still stands, if you would not speak that way to a stranger in public, your mother or grandma, do not even think it will make a woman swoon and think you are amazing
  7. DTF is not the new ASL of online dating and chat room etiqute
  8. Wash your hands, please

If you find yourself on a dating site and are thinking about sending a photo, do everyone a favour and send one of you with some clothes on.

Thank you for listening,

Love, hugs and aubergines

V x

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