Primary School Homework – when it is not what you expect!

Back in the early days of primary school, when year six sats papers were a long way off and homework did not reduce both parent and child to floods of tears, we used to have some interesting topics come home from school. 

Originally published by myself on my old blog, A Cupcake Mum, I have moved this gem over here for your enjoyment.

April 2013

This is what Nathan’s homework sheet was this week from work.  The theme for their class this term is “We all live in a yellow submarine”.  Friday was Pirate day and Nath was very excited that he got to dress up as a pirate for the day, hook, sword, eye patch and a pouch of gold dabloons (Chocolate Coins) and share them with his class.

So, each weekend Nath brings home a homework sheet, it is normally colour in this picture, draw something that you did at the weekend, write about this that or the other.  This weekends sheet made me laugh so so much!

What is in a pirates pocket?
Write down what you would find in a pirates pocket and describe the item in the second column.

Simple enough, yes? Well it took some thinking and was actually like pulling teeth trying to get a child to work out what would be in a pocket – some interesting suggestions came up, a mobile phone, crayons, sand, crabs, car keys and best of all KETCHUP! 

Luckily the sheet had some examples

Item                              Description
Coin                              Gold, Shiny
Ships Biscuit                 Soggy Biscuit

OK!!!!!!  Now maybe I am just VERY dirty minded, but Soggy Biscuit has a completely different meaning to me than a biscuit that has been kept in a pirates pocket.  Maybe pirates play the soggy biscuit game, I do not know.  I have linked it there to Urban Dictionary so if you are not up to scratch with the “rules” of this game you can educate yourself, strong stomach required.

Nathan’s list finally finished with

Watch                                       Old, brown
Key                                          old, rusty
compass (cumpas)                    Gold
sword (Really, in his pocket?)   Gold, Sharp
bandanna (Banddannaa)            Black, Dirty

Please share any interesting homework stories with me, have you found any rude or suggestive remarks in school books or thinks us fellow parents should look out for?

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