Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, Tinder, Uniform Dating, Match.com, Eharmony … If you have ever used one of these websites you will know that no matter if the site is free or one you pay a monthly subscription to, the vast majority of men who message you have one thing on their minds. Sex.
Sometimes, and I am being quite generous with this, sometimes, there is a back and forward of messages that seem very normal. Then, BAM! There is a sex comment, an unsolicited cock picture or a request for your bra size. Chatting innocently about going out to have breakfast with my son on the weekend is followed with “will you be wearing panties?”
Sometimes, and by this I mean almost all the time, there is not even an introduction to the request for personal information. How a man can think that it is polite, charming and thoughtful to message a stranger and ask for the centimeter measurements of their nipples, both in width and length is beyond me.
I read the messages and wonder if that pick up line has worked on other women. If I was standing in Marks and Spencer looking at buy 2 get one free fishcakes, is the man beside me thinking about taking a ruler out of his bag and asking me for measurements… because that’s his thing? If someone said that in public, you would have the police round and be talking about harassment. Yes online, men have free rien to ask any lurid questions they like without remorse.
Challenge them about it and “Oh, can’t take the banter?” You are then labeled as stuck up prude. It is a no win situation.
Care to sample some of the delightful messages I get? These messages are from OK Cupid, I leave my profile active just for laughs as I do get some corkers of messages. All screen names removed, obviously!
Side note, this bloke would not give up and I ended up reporting him as he would not stop messaging me. I had asked him to stop a number of times. A week later he made a new profile and kept the same user picture and tried messaging me again. Smart cookie, that one!
Side note, when messages come in like this I can tell that the conversation will only go one way. Normally I ignore and do not feed the trolls, other times the wicked part of me likes to have a little fun!
Any advice for the dating world? I would love to hear any words of wisdom you can share with men and women alike!
Originally published on my other blog at A Mum Inspired.