2016-04-02

Going steady?

Not to be put off by random messages on dating sites, or by my first date disasters, I pushed on in life not wanting to stay single. There must be someone out there who I click with and is “normal”.

And yes! Yes, there is. But after being single for so long, living on my own and having a super king size bed to myself – being with someone is really quite strange sometimes.

Until you really know someone, you don’t want to display your odd habits and quirks that you take for granted at home. There is an air of politeness around everything. And the worst thing? Not being able to fart in bed.

The first night you stay together is a mine field. Do you pack pj’s? Normal ones or something sexy? Is that too forward? But ones with cats on can look cute, right? Do I keep my bra on to keep my boobs in check? But you sleep naked at home, would that be strange if you did that? What if he snores? What if you snore! What if you can’t sleep, do you just pretend? Do I tie my hair up so it doesn’t annoy him if we spoon? It’s a strange house, it doesn’t feel right. If you can hear the neighbours, what can they hear of you? What if I can’t work the shower in the morning – everyone has a fear of other people’s showers.

When you have been single or living on your own for a long while, the doing things together as a couple that you normally do as a single person, without thinking twice about it, can be sometimes hard to adjust to. Their is a period of adjustment in most relationships which is entrapped in the bubble called the honeymoon period. That is the time when everyone is looking at the world through love hearts and showered with pink fluff. Coming out of the other side of that you find that everyone farts in bed, everyone has bad habits and most of them you can live with, and actually it’s nice to be the little spoon again. Sometimes after the honeymoon period wears off, relationships break down as people cannot cope with the reality of a relationship.

There is one way that I found that solves many problems, is a strange one, but go with me and hear me out.

Just be yourself. Do not sugar coat yourself to be something you are not, that in a few months you will not be able to keep up that act. Be you. Be proud to be you and do not be afraid to show the real you.

First night nerves are normal, but if you sleep naked, say you sleep naked. If you fart in bed, warn them, but do it. You will not be surprised to find that many men will find it funny, and some will even admire you more for it.

Be bold. Be you. Love yourself and others will love you too.

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